The short answer is yes- conservatives tend to be happier than liberals, but it is a little more complicated than that. I had done my due diligence in terms of research. I found research on how things like income, marital status, single parenthood and views on media affected our levels of happiness. I even had a tentative hypothesis that liberals high faith in media made them more vulnerable to catastrophe porn which in turn made them think the world was a far worse place than it actually is. I had even drawn the conclusion that the desire for social change is a symptom of deep-seated personal unhappiness.
I had a whole argument lined up from the earlier days of YouTube which showed that despite a sophisticated algorithm meant to push people towards the Corporate Media (and contrary to smears which argued its Alt Right radicalising tendency), most people first encountering YouTube tended to self-sort into types of viewership by a far more simple metric- conservatives were likely to favour content on economics to learn more about how our systems worked, whilst liberals and progressives tended to automatically search for anything related to social progress issues. I even had a whole grand theory worked out that the conservative desire to preserve and maintain the status quo was informed by generally higher levels of personal happiness, whilst the liberal or desire for social change was a symptom of a desire to rectify personal unhappiness, with politics serving as a proxy for the need to address far more immediate concerns in one’s personal life.
And in a way, I was right- just not in the way I thought. I found wisdom in the Daily Mail of all places! This article profoundly shaped the narrative of this essay, because it highlights Canadian research which shows that people who live in rural communities are on average eight times happier than city dwellers! This despite the fact that people in ‘Cities have higher salaries, higher education levels and lower unemployment rates.’
This revelation struck a real personal chord. I grew up in a rural area (although I also lived abroad as a child) and returned to my roots after a few years living in London. I can still remember the regular experience of sitting on the train and the feeling I had when claustrophobic urban landscapes gave way to green open fields. It felt a little like smoking a joint of mellow weed, only more joyful, invigorating, energetic and less groggy. At the time I took it as a symptom of the imagery of living spaces, they ways in which we are more adapted towards green rather than grey spaces and wondered at a human metaphor which allowed us to feel more free in rural area- less hemmed in, enclosed and inhibited by the omnipresence of others in public spaces. Now I’m not so sure.
I think the difference is more fundamental- it’s about personal human connection. Other than my two cousins who seem to spend all their time ensconced online (much to my despair), I see all of my family. When I walk my dog down the local boat dyke, I know most of my fellow dog walkers, and even if I don’t the common bond of diligent dog ownership means I soon will. I know all of my local shop assistants enough to at least chat to and exchange pleasantries. It is rare these days for me not have a passing familiarity with the weekly delivery drivers from Sainsbury’s. I know most of the people who frequent my local pub and community shop and some of these friendly acquaintances go back years.
Some of these relationships are superficial, others less so, but they all add up to a feeling of personal connection in the world which surrounds me. And there may be distinct reasons why rural environments are more ideal for humans in terms of evolutionary biology. As hunter gatherers we lived in groups of no more than 100. With the agriculture age, whether we are talking about hamlets (50-150 people), villages (500-2,500) or towns (1,000-8,000), most of our settlements were still suited for human happiness, even if many other aspects of our lives roughly a hundred years or before would seem horrific brutally poor and deprived to modern Westerners. Some research has suggested that on average we know around 600 people, with our actual personal networks somewhat smaller, maxing out at around 150. Given that much of the research tends to stress that the threshold for higher happiness is small town, and the US census defines small town as a population under 5,000, perhaps our happiness with our surroundings is contingent upon seeing enough familiar faces in our public spaces to change our frame of mind.
People in small towns smile at passers-by. They often exchange pleasantries about the weather with perfect strangers. An older Northern gentleman from my local pub had his grandchildren come to visit. One of the children remarked at how many friends he had when they were driving through the village, from the number of friendly waves he received. At the time, he had only been living in the village for six months. The key to our happiness may not just lie in our family and immediate friends, but also in the friendliness we encounter in our local communities. In the local shops in the next village, it is a frequent sight to see people who know each other chat for a good five to ten minutes. This might also be one of the reasons why people with higher rates of religiosity are happier- one of the attractions of being religious for the religious is the strong community it fosters.
I was right about liberal trust in media, and given the fat that most media is prone to making mountains out of molehills and painting a picture of the world which is far from the optimistic and rapidly improving place it was before the pandemic, it is no doubt a factor in the fact that liberals are generally more unhappy. This research from Pew shows that income matters, with the more affluent generally tending to be happier, marriage status is very important to happiness, but only kids aren’t a factor- one presumes that the incredible levels of personal fulfilment parents feel from having children, is balanced out by sheer worry over their wellbeing and concern they won’t be happy. As previously stated, pet owners tend to be more happy. Single parents seem to be the least happy of all.
Race does matter, according to Pew Research. Latinos evidence levels of happiness close to whites, but African Americans show the lowest levels of happiness of all. Little wonder. Their income levels are generally lower, they are more likely to be single parents or a raised in single parent homes (a significant factor in personal happiness, according to Dr Warren Farrell’s The Boy Crisis). They do tend to be more religious which should be a positive factor, but are also far more likely to live in cities- the least positive factor of all.
The real question we should be asking is why are Latinos so happy. Their income levels have a similar distribution to African Americans. Although religious they tend to be less religious than African Americans. They are also most likely of all to live in urban settings. It’s a mystery and one I find myself unable to answer. But generally my research shows that if you want to be happy there are four golden rules you should follow- don’t live in a city, find faith, get married and buy a pet. In fact getting a dog might actually help you find that special person, according to this article from Psychology Today.
People who live in rural communities know they have to rely on each other because "the government" won't be there and so they invest in personal relationships. People who live in the cities know "the government" will be there and so don't invest in personal relationships.
As we get further and further from those personal relationships, we get further away from our humanity. I grew up in a little village in Michigan, where everyone knew everyone. If someone needed help you helped, you didn't wait until they asked ( because some were proud and wouldn't) you just helped however you could. People nowadays just can't or don't want to help lighten the burden of people they have no connection to. What happened? Government happened! We'll just let the government do it attitude has taken over much of this country. People used to help each other out. Nowadays instead of helping people out we stand around bitching about when government is gonna help us out.
Yes, government is hardly the best means of helping people- apart from anything else, the human distances involved mean that the proposed benefactor is always ill-informed about what exactly the people they seek to help really need. As a heterodox, this doesn't mean I believe we should end government, but rather transform it. For example, a low income supplement for every eligible citizen would be infinitely preferable to welfare as it currently stands- it would remove both the bureaucracy and the disincentives to work/for fatherhood.
One of the problems with a political class is that even if they are Republicans they are usually reformed liberals. Cosmopolitan liberals seem to see lower paid physical labour as somehow demeaning, when labour of any kind is pretty much a basic need. If anything its indolence which is corrosive- from a short stint on the dole when I was young and a small amount of time helping with a charity for young people, I can say that although there really are the truly idle, they are substantially outnumbered by those who have become that they have nothing to offer the world.
It's the main reason why Jordan Peterson's work has proven so vital to improving the lives or so many, because he gave them a mechanism for proving to themselves that they were actually worthwhile. I've seen listless and apathetic teenagers transformed into productive young men within six months. Now, if only they would look at the credit terms on a new car when they buy one on HP! I know they probably needed one for their newfound girlfriend, but you would have thought they would have picked up a fairly nice older car for a fraction of the price, instead of borrowing thousands of pounds at interest rates over 230% for the full term of the agreement!
One of things which really annoys me is when someone tells me or reminds me to do something good or kind, when I was going to do it anyway! It's effectively stealing the feeling one gets from doing good when one does these things under one's own steam.
I know it might seem petty but a usually just add half an hour or a day, just so I can get the 'feeling of being good' for myself. One of my favourite things is when a clerk or checkout person gets two fresh notes stuck together and you hand the excess back. Restoring a perfect strangers faith in humanity is cheap at £20.
I think a related point to this is confidence. In addition to needing close relationships with their neighbors, rural individuals/families have to be pretty self-sufficient in and of themselves. This breeds competence, which breeds confidence. Confidence, whether through serotonin or other avenues, allows one to know that they can take on whatever challenge comes, regardless of their immediate familiarity with it and can directly relate to happiness.
Those in the city (hand slightly raised, though I'm in a smaller city now) know that they are incompetent. It's the reason zombie movies have such appeal. Who's going to survive? The rural family who can grow their own food, fix their own shelters, and shoot the hordes with an arsenal of guns, or the city-dweller who will get bit before they even know what the hell is going on?
Good point. One of my mates recently had a car ramp bought for his birthday. I've been having problems with one of my cars because of the introduction of E10 (even though the website says that the make and model should be fine with the new fuel). If the super plus unleaded and engine cleaning product don't clear my fuel filter, then I've been toying with the idea of simply buying the part, driving over to my mates (the main problem is stalling when idling and poor acceleration) and changing the part myself.
That's one the really useful things about YouTube- there are 'How to...' videos for almost every conceivable technical problem.
Peas are the best for growing and greenhouse tomatoes. The pea shoots are particularly nice in salads, although I did find I needed to build a frame to keep the birds off. A top tip with garden peas is the preboil the empty shells, scoop them out and then use the water for cooking the peas- it amplifies the flavour.
I don't understand people who don't get on with their neighbours- even though there are some real nobs out there- it's pretty much an axiom that you catch more flies with honey. Copper nails in the roots in the best solution for Leylandii abusers...
What would you say it is then? I should also add that it had been working fine before the introduction of E10 and my brother had a nasty habit of letting the tank get down to below a quarter of a tank. I should mention that it's a SEAT Ibiza and the year is notorious for this particular problem.
Easy enough to change most fuel filters and just see if that works of course -- do the easy stuff first -- but usually a plugged filter will become noticeable at full power when flow is greatest, not at idle. Sounds to me like your computer, or a sensor, is not happy with the new gas. Pull the filter and back-blow it and see what comes out. If drops of water, there's your problem.
There also tend to be a lot of strangers in cities- our primitive ancestry didn't make us evolve to trust strangers. It's odd though, when I lived in London shopkeepers, takeaway pizza places and video store clerks were somewhat complimentary about how quickly and easily I struck up friendly acquaintances.
Could the observation that Latinos are more likely to be Catholic be a factor? Isn't it pretty well known that sinful but forgiven Catholics are happier than dour Protestants always worried about hell?
I will steer clear of the Protestant vs. Catholic argument. Personally, I wonder whether having extended family in other countries makes a difference. Perhaps it inclines one towards an attitude of gratitude for what one has, as well as offering the realisation that things can be a lot, lot worse than they are in the West. I also think that living in more peaceful neighbourhoods probably plays a role- although rates of gang involvement are comparable between the two communities levels of violence are not. In high crime neighbourhoods people can tend to adopt a siege mentality which can be antithetical to friendliness in some, but not all circumstances.
It's odd though, roughly 60% to 70% African Americans now live in middle class neighbourhoods- I wonder whether the perception of oppression leads to unhappiness generally. I found this Triggernometry podcast with Dr Dinah McMillan highly informative on the subject https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2g9DC8qI0M&t=4s . She lived in Australia for a number of years and then had to travel back to her old home for a bereavement (?).
She found her return a transformative experience. She had learned to lower her guard whilst living in Australia, and found that she could far more easily strike up conversations with whites in queues, for example. I wonder whether there isn't some form of learned defence mechanism for some minorities which makes life harder than it really needs to be. African Americans living in the UK seem to find the same thing, if their videos on YouTube are anything to go by (I tend to be fascinated by American/British cross-cultural experiences, given my American father and English mother).
> I wonder whether the perception of oppression leads to unhappiness generally
Happiness is overrated. People take it for granted that everyone wants to be happy, but as we see with wokies and puritans and fundamentalists in general the quest for holy suffering and the sainthood it conveys can trump the quest for mere trivial happiness. Thus wokie snowflakes actively seek out Oppression.
I think it's better to say that happiness is usually a by-product of other factors- job satisfaction, marriage, etc- it cannot be pursued as an end in itself without a great deal of self-reflection into what floats your boat.
Hmm, do you prefer when you are happy or when you are sad or depressed? Of course, even the US Declaration only talked about a right to pursue your happiness, as happiness itself wanes naturally, often like sadness.
There is argument they wanted to use property rights instead of the pursuit of happiness, but didn't like inserting the former until the issue of slavery was finally settled.
Are you Catholic? I would have said that last sentence backwards? (I’m Protestant but my dad’s family is Catholic and I’ve spent a lot of Sundays at Catholic masses.)
Not me. I'm half Protestant, half Jew, but the Catholics have better music and they do seem to have happier cultures, tho usually not as 'developed' as the Protestants. Pretty well established that the industrial revolution was a very Protestant sort of thing, no?
An important point. In addition to all the other criteria- coal and the ability to transport it cheaply by river, temperatures below 16C (disease threat), etc- it is pretty certain that two other requirements were needed- the reduction in the power of the sovereign over issues like property rights and royal monopolies and the reduction in the power of the Church over absolute truth.
We are very lucky that both the Enlightenment and the Industrial Revolution ever happened. That's what the gender critics and race theorists miss in their attempts to demolish the apparent ascendancy of Western culture and science- it was all a matter of extraordinary luck. Other cultures has elements of the Enlightenment centuries before the West: Islam, the Hindu Kush and China all had periods when the market reigned and the a precursor to the scientific method were in place, but they were never able to quite shake off the influence of absolutist religions or other ideological frames.
Did you read Guns, Germs and Steel? Very woke, they guy tries to persuade us that nothing *within* whitey was responsible for his success it was just his dumb luck to end up in a favorable location. I say that whereas you have to be lucky to be good, you also have to be good to be lucky. If location, location, location was everything then the NA Indians could have been expected to produce a thriving industrial civilization, as did whitey. Nope, whitey is smarter, more energetic, has a better culture and -- I believe this factor is overlooked or undervalued -- a better alphabet. Replay history, but with the Chinese having an alphabet and I'd expect no one would have ever heard of whitey. Give Mayan priests an alphabet and decimal numbers and ... can't even say how far they'd have gotten, they must have been fabulously intelligent.
Well, there is also an argument that our exposure to the germs passed by the trade routes since Roman times gave us a natural advantage, but I tend to think that the continuing effects of coming out of a glacial period (particularly in relation to water supply in most of North Africa) paired with over-farming in Southern Europe had more to do with it.
I take it as all of the above and find efforts to rank or exclude this or that vector to be a waste of time mostly. It's comparable to the 'nature/nurture' debate, you can, in the broadest way, dare to say that (for example) IQ is 80% hereditary. Fine, but in practice it does more harm than good because every individual is the sum of the feedback loops that created him and he can't be 'taken apart'.
Same with whitey, he is the product of his environment. Even if one might extract him from his environment and wonder what his 'absolute' traits are independent of his environment, his absolute traits are the products of him living in his environment for several thousand years, so it shouldn't be anything to fight over. But I do reject efforts to claim that whitey *himself* is no different from a Micronesian. He is very different. But, 200,000 years ago, if brother A -- father of the Micronesians -- had moved north rather than south and brother B -- father of whitey -- visa versa, then ... nothing would change -- we'd still have whitey tho descended from TweedleDum not TweedleDee.
Heck no, what seemed to suggest that I was? Just sayin' that it's a Protestant sort of thing just as a beautiful cathedral is a Catholic sort of thing and a really nice garden is a Shinto sort of thing. Dolphins like to pick and choose rather than sign on to some totalizing doctrine or other.
Haha there’s some fringe people arguing electric light (and every part of the industrial Revolution) was a mistake. I never know where people are coming from in comments sections.
Well, I do think there is a good argument for downlighting rather than the less discriminating sort found in many cities- I think there is something spiritual about being able to look up the stars, weather permitting.
Maybe its a typecast, but do Latinos have strong family connections that create that community? Good one Geary! It is confirmation that I’ve been making some good life choices - quit a downtown job, losing a hideous miserable commute, for a lower paying credit union job I can get to in 15 minutes and immersing myself in a tight knit community that put people before profits, most being church going. Plus, getting a puppy this weekend. Im sure thats going to be painful before it gives dividends. But my happiness is way up as of 2 years ago when I quit the office tower after 30 years. I detested downtown & competition for parking at the commuter train station, walking to the office tower to sit in a noisy cube farm, walking via a gauntlet of aggressive/sometimes violent street people and crap smelling sidewalk tents really was getting to me. Plus no more lunch time escape to parks in Toronto downtown- parks filled with tents/ drug users and their refuse and angry sjw protesters. Fuckin have at it - see ya!
Oh yes. Congratulations on the new puppy! They are such source of love and affection. My fourteen year old spaniel has her set routines and she always lets me know when it's time for me to play with her in the garden and when I'm late fussing her at bedtime!
'Maybe its a typecast, but do Latinos have strong family connections that create that community?'- very probably. I keep meaning to read San Fransicko by Michael Shellenberger. Isn't to amazing how progressives managed to rebrand drug addiction and mental illness into a 'homeless' problem. Most progressives won't believe you when you tell them that 'tolerant' places like Portugal or the Netherlands give you a choice between prison and rehab if you get caught shooting up in public. There is nothing wrong with compassion towards the less fortunate, but it needs to be tempered with pragmatic steel resolve. In the Anglosphere the two concepts seem to be engaged in a bitterly contested custody battle- our politics is so binary.
It might be a bit of a typecast but I’d say broadly you’re right for Latinos: strong faith, strong (and big) families and thus a strong community and support network, strong work ethic.
Good luck with the first few weeks with that puppy!
Don't know about the politics, but old socially acceptable ideas like manners, courtesy, politeness, etiquette, etc. are all about how to get along on a superficial level that keeps people happier, friendlier and more likely to get along. These are what create a shared culture and a way of interacting to reduce conflict or mean words. That part of culture seems lost today. I'm always amazed at how many people I can walk by without even getting eye contact much less a simple nod or "hello."
The worst thing is when you're on a country road and you pull into a layby to let the oncoming car get through and don't get so much as a wave. It doesn't cost anything to be nice or courteous. My old admin assistant was older than me, and was a regimental sergeant major and IFA before working for me. I learned more from him than he learned from me.
Whenever somebody used to come into the office and interrupt he would always say 'Manners! Don't worry if your parents didn't raise you right- you can borrow some of mine!'- which, of course, was true in a way...
thank you Geary for a timely piece on how human connection is what keeps us sane and happy, instead of living in a 'met averse' owned by you know who. I believe that the deep wounds of the pandemic lockdowns vaxx passports etc can only be healed if we find a way back to each other even as we disagree about everything. That is going to be the challenge for the next few years.
Yes, the societal damage which has been done is immense. It looked as though we were all pulling together at the start of the pandemic, but with hindsight it wasn't going to last. Setting the pandemic aside, introducing much greater social media use at a time of social isolation was perhaps one of the worst things which could have happened to our societies.
I think conservative is an obsolete definition and liberal is a (purposely) misdirected one. They are liberal with somebody else money and position these liberals defends their positions/benefits by pointing defects on the rest. These “liberals” can also be defined as people that do not need to compete for their earnings or that want to be seen as cool/friendly/fashionable. Most of the time they are pretending, posturing, but in fact they are as “conservative” (of their own interest) as the rest. “Conservative” = anybody that would answer the questions truthfully, instead of trying to create an image from which to profit. How many “liberals” would like a refuge center in front of their house, knowing the situations not reported by the press but that actually happen?
I come from a very small town, it is true what you say, due to the closeness, it has its positive and negative. I think small towns in Europe (not geographically spread) most of them have that feeling, I see it more difficult in USA where towns are very much spread geographically, and use of the car is needed even to go to a café.
'How many “liberals” would like a refuge center in front of their house'- well, there was an interesting YouTube piece from the New York Times of all places which argued that liberal hypocrisy was responsible for keeping people in bad housing and poor education. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNDgcjVGHIw&t=1s .
Your observations are bang on the money. Some have referred to the liberal dichotomy as 'live Right, vote Left' and as to many of their policy positions they have been described as 'luxury beliefs' because they generally have the money to be able to avoid living with the consequences.
I had a friend who moved to our village from a well-to-do area of London with his wife. He couldn't make the adjustment- although the community is great, the fact that conveniences aren't necessarily at your fingertips can be quite an adjustment. Mind you, I live only 14 miles from Norwich. It's a small city (just over 200K), but it serves over 500,00 people in the outlying areas. This obviously means much better facilities than most cities its size in the UK. We have an Imax, lots of good restaurants and a great pub scene.
I like / agree on the rural car needed vs village walk everywhere thing. Its the getting out, walking and connecting at shops, community events, dog parks, church that connects and you make friends.
Yes. One problem in America is that most rural communities are so spread out that they’re car communities. Which decreases community interaction and probably leads to a good deal of unhappiness and desperation in certain parts of rural America.
Conversely, many cities have thriving neighborhoods with strong community: people know their neighbors, walk everywhere, have access to all the things they need within a small geographic area, etc.
I grew up in a small town and could never last too long in a city (I did live for 5 months in Finnieston in Glasgow), but I do love cities. And too many rural communities in the US have very little opportunity. Hence the high drug OD rate and suicides.
I assume you’re in the UK? Conservatism means something slightly differently in America than it does in Europe. Yet here it’s on the ropes and we’re going through a definitional battle. I’d like to keep conservative as the word to describe Fusionists/Buckleyites/what the word meant pre-Trump. But increasingly that seems a difficult road to hoe.
On the US being spread out geographically: my county was so big and mountainous that it took school buses hours to pick up all the kids. And high school would close even when we had only couple inches down in town because some of the county roads were impassable from the ice.
'Conservatism means something slightly differently in America than it does in Europe.'- I'm aware. As a heterodox, I find the real value in both liberalism and conservatism lies in the friction between the two philosophies and the competition of ideas which can emerge when people argue in good faith. It's incredibly rare these days. Even on fairly intellectual sites, it is not uncommon to see older adults resorting to strawmen and ad hominem.
It's tragic, because the real task and hand confronting most governments in the West is the need for radical reform- whether one believes these wasted resources should be returned to the taxpayer or spent in more worthwhile and empirically proven pursuits these funds represent a precious resource which is currently squandered- all because nobody wants to battle with the administrative state.
I think when i was 20-30 i was "liberal" and Pro-EU, nowadays ...., nowadays I like truthful honest people that work and wish well to their neighbors, regarding the EU i am no longer pro the current EU as it is I think it needs a reset. I am a conservative? not really but if you ask one of the liberals I would be "something very bad"
Same here. I used to vote Lib Dem in the UK. It was only much later that I realised that my primary focus was civic libertarian- when the Tories were preachy I didn't like them- now that it's the Left I find I cannot stand them either. I want my old lovely wishy-washy Lefties back! And nowadays it seems to be the conservatives who are completely friendly and non-judgemental! Funny how quickly the parties can switch.
Ditto on the EU as well. Although a Remainer, I have come to see the creep towards federalism which many recognised sooner. Small is better, and more responsive to citizens.
Japan is an interesting exception here. People are definitely more connected with the group being upmost but definitely very unhappy. And Japan is a very conservative country. Change is not welcomed at all. I rather feel what you're driving at is the freedom to be yourself and most people don't have this because they are not prone to self-examination on a significant level or as in Japan's case the culture is not conducive to such freedom.
The point about being a conservative for me is acceptance. For a liberal you need to conform. You need to demonstrate that you are fully 'signed up' by supporting whatever is the fashionable 'cause' no matter what you may think about it personally.
Maybe im making another typecast, but isnt it a society that slavishly devotes itself to work over family/ never leaving before boss/ valuing social standing “face” ( which i understand china is also subject to). Just the long work hours there and avg long commute and crowding would not be good.
As a counterpoint the Japanese are very modal. When the situation demands they be a father, they focus on being a good father. When they are working, they focus on being the best worker.
The real problem is they are an honour and shame culture, rather than a guilt and forgiveness culture. It creates immense pressure and can lead to suicides with any substantial form of failure. We are losing the ability to forgive in our culture- it is an incredibly positive cultural development which should not be thrown away so dismissively.
Could it be that latinos have a strong family unit to fall back on? My source for this is just, well, Hollywood, but it's a common trope that hispanics in the US have the typical cloying, worrying mother, the proud father, the numerous brothers and sisters, the funny cousins etc... must play a role?
More broadly: age. Rural life just is not appealing to 20-somethings, who still need to find: who they are, a job, a partner, a purpose. That's a lot of stress and demands, so a city is the best place for them at least for nothing other than options. And younger people are more progressive - they hope that society can adapt enough to meet their future needs. Then, when in their late '30s and - hopefully - settled down, they may become a little bit more centrist. Feel a yearning for where they grew up. Start to appreciate space and natural light and beauty, and classic architecture... until before you know it they're late-40s and voting conservative, to the dismay of their teenage daughter. And so the wheel turns...
It's funny- until just recently I was a Lib Dem voter (UK), but having read Jonathan Haidt's The Righteous Mind I developed a good deal more sympathy for the average person, born in circumstances less fortunate than my own and finally begun to understand- for example- why other Brits didn't want to go off and explore the culture when abroad, enjoy the local food, music, art and architecture. I finally understood that parental educational background and affluence is highly important for the way we develop, our cultural ingroup.
Although a Remainer, I quickly became frustrated and angry that the cosmopolitan liberal class didn't do their due diligence in trying to understand why just over half the country voted for Brexit, instead preferring to resort to false beliefs in ignorance, racism and xenophobia, rather to come to terms with the fact that their privileged upbringings had released them from cognitive prewiring of WEIRD (Western, Educated, Industrialised, Rich and Developed). I now consider myself heterodox and find myself politically homeless for the first time in my life.
My biggest surprise was finding that there was more to the Conservative mindset than I had been led to believe- and although I still have reservations, I would now class myself at least a civic libertarian.
Propaganda is not a healthy mental diet and we're all starved for truth. It's just become almost impossible to find unless you know how to look. But it's all going to change, possibly for the better, in about month. Keeping a vigil over here in Canada...
Great essay! My husband, our young adult daughter and I were just chatting the other day about this very topic. I grew up in rural small town America. I had a completely different experience compared to my daughter. I played in woods, cornfields and saw cows everyday in the pasture of the farm in our neighborhood. Children of all ages from 2-18 were outside playing all day, free and un supervised -friendships grew organically. We had fights, broken bones, stitches and made trouble here and there. Whether Protestant or Catholic we all were in church on Sundays. We had parades for every holiday, carnivals in summer, large picnic gatherings etc. Neighbors helped each other out with home/yard projects or work on the family auto. It was a different time as well as place. I have spent the past 20 yrs raising my daughter in an urban suburb. No corn fields, very few woods, but she has access to parks, tennis courts, swim/ice center, shops, public library, and an excellent police department that is rather large for a community were you need to look for crime.
Where I grew up The factories closed in the 70’s, things took a downward turn. By 1980 kids graduated HS and left. Shops closed, local movie theaters and the drive in too. Renters took up space and the drugs and crime began. The small town glory is gone. The beautiful stone church I was raised and married in is a wine bar. The Catholic Church and school has recently closed.
Husband had the best upbringing of all. within driving distance to commute to major city, but lots of spacious woods and country side for him to run around in along with community amenities and top notch schools. It’s one of the wealthiest areas in the county. Lucky him.
I had a strong sense of community growing up, as did he. Our daughter not so much, but likely more than those who live in purely urban environments or larger suburbs. I think it’s due to generation differences in raising family. At least partly.
With each passing year I find myself yearning to return to small town country life. But how it was in it’s glory.
There’s no going home for me and I feel sad over that. Unless I return and help who remained with a renaissance.
As far as Latinos being happier could it be due to differences in history and experiences of ancestors?
Great comment! I was talking to one of my friend's mother recently. I happened to mention that I was reading 'The Coddling of the American Mind' and gave a very brief precis, dwelling in particular on the differences between unsupervised play. She was very enthusiastic on the subject, noting that here in the UK there is whole movement of grans, nans and granddads intent upon getting their grandchildren out and away from computers and smartphones and getting them to play traditionally.
Even schools seem to be beginning to recognise that child safety culture had gone too far. I recently watched a short local news segment about how many schools were ordering safer building materials for their playgrounds with a view to letting the children play with them. No saws, of course- but with the school featured, it was clear the boys had rigged a plank as a makeshift catapult and were intent upon seeing how high they could launch things (and smaller kids, no doubt) into the air, by jumping on one end.
Jonathan Haidt extols the virtues of the free range play movement. The age at which kids are given autonomy to supervise themselves has been steadily rising and it's apparently not a developmentally healthy trend.
I’d emphasize religion. (Yes, I know many left wingers who are religious, but on average conservatives are more religious.) It’s not a panacea, but having a sense of meaning and purpose to life is a huge factor in happiness. Not that religious people never have existential dread, but I know I’d have a much harder time with suffering and life if I were a materialist atheist.
I agree. My faith isn't of the demonstrative sort- I only tend to go to church on special occasions, but I still pray fairly frequently and it is definitely a source of comfort and meaning.
As I read your essay about city mice versus country mice, and could not stop the broad smile that was creeping onto my face.
Seems as though you are one of the many people who choose to live in smaller communities, where a skilled carpenter can be as highly regarded as the local doctor or lawyer.
I will soon be in my eight decade, and thus am in a lovely period of reflection on a life so thoroughly enjoyed while living in villages with perhaps 600 residents or on the far outskirts of urban areas.
Smiling at people and saying hello is a most a most healthy way to live one's life.
I look forward to reading more of your missives, Geary.
People who live in rural communities know they have to rely on each other because "the government" won't be there and so they invest in personal relationships. People who live in the cities know "the government" will be there and so don't invest in personal relationships.
As we get further and further from those personal relationships, we get further away from our humanity. I grew up in a little village in Michigan, where everyone knew everyone. If someone needed help you helped, you didn't wait until they asked ( because some were proud and wouldn't) you just helped however you could. People nowadays just can't or don't want to help lighten the burden of people they have no connection to. What happened? Government happened! We'll just let the government do it attitude has taken over much of this country. People used to help each other out. Nowadays instead of helping people out we stand around bitching about when government is gonna help us out.
Yes, government is hardly the best means of helping people- apart from anything else, the human distances involved mean that the proposed benefactor is always ill-informed about what exactly the people they seek to help really need. As a heterodox, this doesn't mean I believe we should end government, but rather transform it. For example, a low income supplement for every eligible citizen would be infinitely preferable to welfare as it currently stands- it would remove both the bureaucracy and the disincentives to work/for fatherhood.
One of the problems with a political class is that even if they are Republicans they are usually reformed liberals. Cosmopolitan liberals seem to see lower paid physical labour as somehow demeaning, when labour of any kind is pretty much a basic need. If anything its indolence which is corrosive- from a short stint on the dole when I was young and a small amount of time helping with a charity for young people, I can say that although there really are the truly idle, they are substantially outnumbered by those who have become that they have nothing to offer the world.
It's the main reason why Jordan Peterson's work has proven so vital to improving the lives or so many, because he gave them a mechanism for proving to themselves that they were actually worthwhile. I've seen listless and apathetic teenagers transformed into productive young men within six months. Now, if only they would look at the credit terms on a new car when they buy one on HP! I know they probably needed one for their newfound girlfriend, but you would have thought they would have picked up a fairly nice older car for a fraction of the price, instead of borrowing thousands of pounds at interest rates over 230% for the full term of the agreement!
Government has done more to destroy the idea of giving in charity and feeling gratitude on receiving help.
One of things which really annoys me is when someone tells me or reminds me to do something good or kind, when I was going to do it anyway! It's effectively stealing the feeling one gets from doing good when one does these things under one's own steam.
I know it might seem petty but a usually just add half an hour or a day, just so I can get the 'feeling of being good' for myself. One of my favourite things is when a clerk or checkout person gets two fresh notes stuck together and you hand the excess back. Restoring a perfect strangers faith in humanity is cheap at £20.
Great insight. I hadnt thought of it that way.
I think a related point to this is confidence. In addition to needing close relationships with their neighbors, rural individuals/families have to be pretty self-sufficient in and of themselves. This breeds competence, which breeds confidence. Confidence, whether through serotonin or other avenues, allows one to know that they can take on whatever challenge comes, regardless of their immediate familiarity with it and can directly relate to happiness.
Those in the city (hand slightly raised, though I'm in a smaller city now) know that they are incompetent. It's the reason zombie movies have such appeal. Who's going to survive? The rural family who can grow their own food, fix their own shelters, and shoot the hordes with an arsenal of guns, or the city-dweller who will get bit before they even know what the hell is going on?
Good point. One of my mates recently had a car ramp bought for his birthday. I've been having problems with one of my cars because of the introduction of E10 (even though the website says that the make and model should be fine with the new fuel). If the super plus unleaded and engine cleaning product don't clear my fuel filter, then I've been toying with the idea of simply buying the part, driving over to my mates (the main problem is stalling when idling and poor acceleration) and changing the part myself.
That's one the really useful things about YouTube- there are 'How to...' videos for almost every conceivable technical problem.
Peas are the best for growing and greenhouse tomatoes. The pea shoots are particularly nice in salads, although I did find I needed to build a frame to keep the birds off. A top tip with garden peas is the preboil the empty shells, scoop them out and then use the water for cooking the peas- it amplifies the flavour.
I don't understand people who don't get on with their neighbours- even though there are some real nobs out there- it's pretty much an axiom that you catch more flies with honey. Copper nails in the roots in the best solution for Leylandii abusers...
> If the super plus unleaded and engine cleaning product don't clear my fuel filter
You shouldn't expect them to, a fuel filter, once clogged must be replaced
Ooops, I see I've already mentioned this.
It was actually spark plug and coils in the end, can you believe it!
I sure can. Diagnosis can be difficult.
> (the main problem is stalling when idling and poor acceleration)
Doesn't sound like a fuel filter issue.
What would you say it is then? I should also add that it had been working fine before the introduction of E10 and my brother had a nasty habit of letting the tank get down to below a quarter of a tank. I should mention that it's a SEAT Ibiza and the year is notorious for this particular problem.
Easy enough to change most fuel filters and just see if that works of course -- do the easy stuff first -- but usually a plugged filter will become noticeable at full power when flow is greatest, not at idle. Sounds to me like your computer, or a sensor, is not happy with the new gas. Pull the filter and back-blow it and see what comes out. If drops of water, there's your problem.
Cheers mate!
There also tend to be a lot of strangers in cities- our primitive ancestry didn't make us evolve to trust strangers. It's odd though, when I lived in London shopkeepers, takeaway pizza places and video store clerks were somewhat complimentary about how quickly and easily I struck up friendly acquaintances.
> and given the fat that most media
the fact
Could the observation that Latinos are more likely to be Catholic be a factor? Isn't it pretty well known that sinful but forgiven Catholics are happier than dour Protestants always worried about hell?
I will steer clear of the Protestant vs. Catholic argument. Personally, I wonder whether having extended family in other countries makes a difference. Perhaps it inclines one towards an attitude of gratitude for what one has, as well as offering the realisation that things can be a lot, lot worse than they are in the West. I also think that living in more peaceful neighbourhoods probably plays a role- although rates of gang involvement are comparable between the two communities levels of violence are not. In high crime neighbourhoods people can tend to adopt a siege mentality which can be antithetical to friendliness in some, but not all circumstances.
It's odd though, roughly 60% to 70% African Americans now live in middle class neighbourhoods- I wonder whether the perception of oppression leads to unhappiness generally. I found this Triggernometry podcast with Dr Dinah McMillan highly informative on the subject https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2g9DC8qI0M&t=4s . She lived in Australia for a number of years and then had to travel back to her old home for a bereavement (?).
She found her return a transformative experience. She had learned to lower her guard whilst living in Australia, and found that she could far more easily strike up conversations with whites in queues, for example. I wonder whether there isn't some form of learned defence mechanism for some minorities which makes life harder than it really needs to be. African Americans living in the UK seem to find the same thing, if their videos on YouTube are anything to go by (I tend to be fascinated by American/British cross-cultural experiences, given my American father and English mother).
> I wonder whether the perception of oppression leads to unhappiness generally
Happiness is overrated. People take it for granted that everyone wants to be happy, but as we see with wokies and puritans and fundamentalists in general the quest for holy suffering and the sainthood it conveys can trump the quest for mere trivial happiness. Thus wokie snowflakes actively seek out Oppression.
I think it's better to say that happiness is usually a by-product of other factors- job satisfaction, marriage, etc- it cannot be pursued as an end in itself without a great deal of self-reflection into what floats your boat.
Quite right.
Hmm, do you prefer when you are happy or when you are sad or depressed? Of course, even the US Declaration only talked about a right to pursue your happiness, as happiness itself wanes naturally, often like sadness.
There is argument they wanted to use property rights instead of the pursuit of happiness, but didn't like inserting the former until the issue of slavery was finally settled.
I'm, not a fundamentalist. I prefer being happy to enjoying saintly victimhood.
Are you Catholic? I would have said that last sentence backwards? (I’m Protestant but my dad’s family is Catholic and I’ve spent a lot of Sundays at Catholic masses.)
Not me. I'm half Protestant, half Jew, but the Catholics have better music and they do seem to have happier cultures, tho usually not as 'developed' as the Protestants. Pretty well established that the industrial revolution was a very Protestant sort of thing, no?
An important point. In addition to all the other criteria- coal and the ability to transport it cheaply by river, temperatures below 16C (disease threat), etc- it is pretty certain that two other requirements were needed- the reduction in the power of the sovereign over issues like property rights and royal monopolies and the reduction in the power of the Church over absolute truth.
We are very lucky that both the Enlightenment and the Industrial Revolution ever happened. That's what the gender critics and race theorists miss in their attempts to demolish the apparent ascendancy of Western culture and science- it was all a matter of extraordinary luck. Other cultures has elements of the Enlightenment centuries before the West: Islam, the Hindu Kush and China all had periods when the market reigned and the a precursor to the scientific method were in place, but they were never able to quite shake off the influence of absolutist religions or other ideological frames.
> In addition to all the other criteria
Did you read Guns, Germs and Steel? Very woke, they guy tries to persuade us that nothing *within* whitey was responsible for his success it was just his dumb luck to end up in a favorable location. I say that whereas you have to be lucky to be good, you also have to be good to be lucky. If location, location, location was everything then the NA Indians could have been expected to produce a thriving industrial civilization, as did whitey. Nope, whitey is smarter, more energetic, has a better culture and -- I believe this factor is overlooked or undervalued -- a better alphabet. Replay history, but with the Chinese having an alphabet and I'd expect no one would have ever heard of whitey. Give Mayan priests an alphabet and decimal numbers and ... can't even say how far they'd have gotten, they must have been fabulously intelligent.
Well, there is also an argument that our exposure to the germs passed by the trade routes since Roman times gave us a natural advantage, but I tend to think that the continuing effects of coming out of a glacial period (particularly in relation to water supply in most of North Africa) paired with over-farming in Southern Europe had more to do with it.
I take it as all of the above and find efforts to rank or exclude this or that vector to be a waste of time mostly. It's comparable to the 'nature/nurture' debate, you can, in the broadest way, dare to say that (for example) IQ is 80% hereditary. Fine, but in practice it does more harm than good because every individual is the sum of the feedback loops that created him and he can't be 'taken apart'.
Same with whitey, he is the product of his environment. Even if one might extract him from his environment and wonder what his 'absolute' traits are independent of his environment, his absolute traits are the products of him living in his environment for several thousand years, so it shouldn't be anything to fight over. But I do reject efforts to claim that whitey *himself* is no different from a Micronesian. He is very different. But, 200,000 years ago, if brother A -- father of the Micronesians -- had moved north rather than south and brother B -- father of whitey -- visa versa, then ... nothing would change -- we'd still have whitey tho descended from TweedleDum not TweedleDee.
Are you anti-Industrial Revolution?
Yeah, I love Catholic Services. I like the liturgy and formality much better than Presbyterian or Baptist services.
Heck no, what seemed to suggest that I was? Just sayin' that it's a Protestant sort of thing just as a beautiful cathedral is a Catholic sort of thing and a really nice garden is a Shinto sort of thing. Dolphins like to pick and choose rather than sign on to some totalizing doctrine or other.
Haha there’s some fringe people arguing electric light (and every part of the industrial Revolution) was a mistake. I never know where people are coming from in comments sections.
Well, I do think there is a good argument for downlighting rather than the less discriminating sort found in many cities- I think there is something spiritual about being able to look up the stars, weather permitting.
Maybe its a typecast, but do Latinos have strong family connections that create that community? Good one Geary! It is confirmation that I’ve been making some good life choices - quit a downtown job, losing a hideous miserable commute, for a lower paying credit union job I can get to in 15 minutes and immersing myself in a tight knit community that put people before profits, most being church going. Plus, getting a puppy this weekend. Im sure thats going to be painful before it gives dividends. But my happiness is way up as of 2 years ago when I quit the office tower after 30 years. I detested downtown & competition for parking at the commuter train station, walking to the office tower to sit in a noisy cube farm, walking via a gauntlet of aggressive/sometimes violent street people and crap smelling sidewalk tents really was getting to me. Plus no more lunch time escape to parks in Toronto downtown- parks filled with tents/ drug users and their refuse and angry sjw protesters. Fuckin have at it - see ya!
Oh yes. Congratulations on the new puppy! They are such source of love and affection. My fourteen year old spaniel has her set routines and she always lets me know when it's time for me to play with her in the garden and when I'm late fussing her at bedtime!
'Maybe its a typecast, but do Latinos have strong family connections that create that community?'- very probably. I keep meaning to read San Fransicko by Michael Shellenberger. Isn't to amazing how progressives managed to rebrand drug addiction and mental illness into a 'homeless' problem. Most progressives won't believe you when you tell them that 'tolerant' places like Portugal or the Netherlands give you a choice between prison and rehab if you get caught shooting up in public. There is nothing wrong with compassion towards the less fortunate, but it needs to be tempered with pragmatic steel resolve. In the Anglosphere the two concepts seem to be engaged in a bitterly contested custody battle- our politics is so binary.
It might be a bit of a typecast but I’d say broadly you’re right for Latinos: strong faith, strong (and big) families and thus a strong community and support network, strong work ethic.
Good luck with the first few weeks with that puppy!
Don't know about the politics, but old socially acceptable ideas like manners, courtesy, politeness, etiquette, etc. are all about how to get along on a superficial level that keeps people happier, friendlier and more likely to get along. These are what create a shared culture and a way of interacting to reduce conflict or mean words. That part of culture seems lost today. I'm always amazed at how many people I can walk by without even getting eye contact much less a simple nod or "hello."
The worst thing is when you're on a country road and you pull into a layby to let the oncoming car get through and don't get so much as a wave. It doesn't cost anything to be nice or courteous. My old admin assistant was older than me, and was a regimental sergeant major and IFA before working for me. I learned more from him than he learned from me.
Whenever somebody used to come into the office and interrupt he would always say 'Manners! Don't worry if your parents didn't raise you right- you can borrow some of mine!'- which, of course, was true in a way...
They soon learned.
thank you Geary for a timely piece on how human connection is what keeps us sane and happy, instead of living in a 'met averse' owned by you know who. I believe that the deep wounds of the pandemic lockdowns vaxx passports etc can only be healed if we find a way back to each other even as we disagree about everything. That is going to be the challenge for the next few years.
Yes, the societal damage which has been done is immense. It looked as though we were all pulling together at the start of the pandemic, but with hindsight it wasn't going to last. Setting the pandemic aside, introducing much greater social media use at a time of social isolation was perhaps one of the worst things which could have happened to our societies.
Very good writing!
I think conservative is an obsolete definition and liberal is a (purposely) misdirected one. They are liberal with somebody else money and position these liberals defends their positions/benefits by pointing defects on the rest. These “liberals” can also be defined as people that do not need to compete for their earnings or that want to be seen as cool/friendly/fashionable. Most of the time they are pretending, posturing, but in fact they are as “conservative” (of their own interest) as the rest. “Conservative” = anybody that would answer the questions truthfully, instead of trying to create an image from which to profit. How many “liberals” would like a refuge center in front of their house, knowing the situations not reported by the press but that actually happen?
I come from a very small town, it is true what you say, due to the closeness, it has its positive and negative. I think small towns in Europe (not geographically spread) most of them have that feeling, I see it more difficult in USA where towns are very much spread geographically, and use of the car is needed even to go to a café.
'How many “liberals” would like a refuge center in front of their house'- well, there was an interesting YouTube piece from the New York Times of all places which argued that liberal hypocrisy was responsible for keeping people in bad housing and poor education. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNDgcjVGHIw&t=1s .
Your observations are bang on the money. Some have referred to the liberal dichotomy as 'live Right, vote Left' and as to many of their policy positions they have been described as 'luxury beliefs' because they generally have the money to be able to avoid living with the consequences.
I had a friend who moved to our village from a well-to-do area of London with his wife. He couldn't make the adjustment- although the community is great, the fact that conveniences aren't necessarily at your fingertips can be quite an adjustment. Mind you, I live only 14 miles from Norwich. It's a small city (just over 200K), but it serves over 500,00 people in the outlying areas. This obviously means much better facilities than most cities its size in the UK. We have an Imax, lots of good restaurants and a great pub scene.
I like / agree on the rural car needed vs village walk everywhere thing. Its the getting out, walking and connecting at shops, community events, dog parks, church that connects and you make friends.
Yes. One problem in America is that most rural communities are so spread out that they’re car communities. Which decreases community interaction and probably leads to a good deal of unhappiness and desperation in certain parts of rural America.
Conversely, many cities have thriving neighborhoods with strong community: people know their neighbors, walk everywhere, have access to all the things they need within a small geographic area, etc.
I grew up in a small town and could never last too long in a city (I did live for 5 months in Finnieston in Glasgow), but I do love cities. And too many rural communities in the US have very little opportunity. Hence the high drug OD rate and suicides.
I assume you’re in the UK? Conservatism means something slightly differently in America than it does in Europe. Yet here it’s on the ropes and we’re going through a definitional battle. I’d like to keep conservative as the word to describe Fusionists/Buckleyites/what the word meant pre-Trump. But increasingly that seems a difficult road to hoe.
On the US being spread out geographically: my county was so big and mountainous that it took school buses hours to pick up all the kids. And high school would close even when we had only couple inches down in town because some of the county roads were impassable from the ice.
'Conservatism means something slightly differently in America than it does in Europe.'- I'm aware. As a heterodox, I find the real value in both liberalism and conservatism lies in the friction between the two philosophies and the competition of ideas which can emerge when people argue in good faith. It's incredibly rare these days. Even on fairly intellectual sites, it is not uncommon to see older adults resorting to strawmen and ad hominem.
It's tragic, because the real task and hand confronting most governments in the West is the need for radical reform- whether one believes these wasted resources should be returned to the taxpayer or spent in more worthwhile and empirically proven pursuits these funds represent a precious resource which is currently squandered- all because nobody wants to battle with the administrative state.
Just older adults? Haha as a young person I’ll say we’re just as bad with the ad hominems.
Lol!
I think when i was 20-30 i was "liberal" and Pro-EU, nowadays ...., nowadays I like truthful honest people that work and wish well to their neighbors, regarding the EU i am no longer pro the current EU as it is I think it needs a reset. I am a conservative? not really but if you ask one of the liberals I would be "something very bad"
Same here. I used to vote Lib Dem in the UK. It was only much later that I realised that my primary focus was civic libertarian- when the Tories were preachy I didn't like them- now that it's the Left I find I cannot stand them either. I want my old lovely wishy-washy Lefties back! And nowadays it seems to be the conservatives who are completely friendly and non-judgemental! Funny how quickly the parties can switch.
Ditto on the EU as well. Although a Remainer, I have come to see the creep towards federalism which many recognised sooner. Small is better, and more responsive to citizens.
Japan is an interesting exception here. People are definitely more connected with the group being upmost but definitely very unhappy. And Japan is a very conservative country. Change is not welcomed at all. I rather feel what you're driving at is the freedom to be yourself and most people don't have this because they are not prone to self-examination on a significant level or as in Japan's case the culture is not conducive to such freedom.
The point about being a conservative for me is acceptance. For a liberal you need to conform. You need to demonstrate that you are fully 'signed up' by supporting whatever is the fashionable 'cause' no matter what you may think about it personally.
Interesting counter argument with a great deal of fine distinction. I will have to go away and think about that.
Maybe im making another typecast, but isnt it a society that slavishly devotes itself to work over family/ never leaving before boss/ valuing social standing “face” ( which i understand china is also subject to). Just the long work hours there and avg long commute and crowding would not be good.
As a counterpoint the Japanese are very modal. When the situation demands they be a father, they focus on being a good father. When they are working, they focus on being the best worker.
The real problem is they are an honour and shame culture, rather than a guilt and forgiveness culture. It creates immense pressure and can lead to suicides with any substantial form of failure. We are losing the ability to forgive in our culture- it is an incredibly positive cultural development which should not be thrown away so dismissively.
Could it be that latinos have a strong family unit to fall back on? My source for this is just, well, Hollywood, but it's a common trope that hispanics in the US have the typical cloying, worrying mother, the proud father, the numerous brothers and sisters, the funny cousins etc... must play a role?
More broadly: age. Rural life just is not appealing to 20-somethings, who still need to find: who they are, a job, a partner, a purpose. That's a lot of stress and demands, so a city is the best place for them at least for nothing other than options. And younger people are more progressive - they hope that society can adapt enough to meet their future needs. Then, when in their late '30s and - hopefully - settled down, they may become a little bit more centrist. Feel a yearning for where they grew up. Start to appreciate space and natural light and beauty, and classic architecture... until before you know it they're late-40s and voting conservative, to the dismay of their teenage daughter. And so the wheel turns...
It's funny- until just recently I was a Lib Dem voter (UK), but having read Jonathan Haidt's The Righteous Mind I developed a good deal more sympathy for the average person, born in circumstances less fortunate than my own and finally begun to understand- for example- why other Brits didn't want to go off and explore the culture when abroad, enjoy the local food, music, art and architecture. I finally understood that parental educational background and affluence is highly important for the way we develop, our cultural ingroup.
Although a Remainer, I quickly became frustrated and angry that the cosmopolitan liberal class didn't do their due diligence in trying to understand why just over half the country voted for Brexit, instead preferring to resort to false beliefs in ignorance, racism and xenophobia, rather to come to terms with the fact that their privileged upbringings had released them from cognitive prewiring of WEIRD (Western, Educated, Industrialised, Rich and Developed). I now consider myself heterodox and find myself politically homeless for the first time in my life.
My biggest surprise was finding that there was more to the Conservative mindset than I had been led to believe- and although I still have reservations, I would now class myself at least a civic libertarian.
Propaganda is not a healthy mental diet and we're all starved for truth. It's just become almost impossible to find unless you know how to look. But it's all going to change, possibly for the better, in about month. Keeping a vigil over here in Canada...
Great essay! My husband, our young adult daughter and I were just chatting the other day about this very topic. I grew up in rural small town America. I had a completely different experience compared to my daughter. I played in woods, cornfields and saw cows everyday in the pasture of the farm in our neighborhood. Children of all ages from 2-18 were outside playing all day, free and un supervised -friendships grew organically. We had fights, broken bones, stitches and made trouble here and there. Whether Protestant or Catholic we all were in church on Sundays. We had parades for every holiday, carnivals in summer, large picnic gatherings etc. Neighbors helped each other out with home/yard projects or work on the family auto. It was a different time as well as place. I have spent the past 20 yrs raising my daughter in an urban suburb. No corn fields, very few woods, but she has access to parks, tennis courts, swim/ice center, shops, public library, and an excellent police department that is rather large for a community were you need to look for crime.
Where I grew up The factories closed in the 70’s, things took a downward turn. By 1980 kids graduated HS and left. Shops closed, local movie theaters and the drive in too. Renters took up space and the drugs and crime began. The small town glory is gone. The beautiful stone church I was raised and married in is a wine bar. The Catholic Church and school has recently closed.
Husband had the best upbringing of all. within driving distance to commute to major city, but lots of spacious woods and country side for him to run around in along with community amenities and top notch schools. It’s one of the wealthiest areas in the county. Lucky him.
I had a strong sense of community growing up, as did he. Our daughter not so much, but likely more than those who live in purely urban environments or larger suburbs. I think it’s due to generation differences in raising family. At least partly.
With each passing year I find myself yearning to return to small town country life. But how it was in it’s glory.
There’s no going home for me and I feel sad over that. Unless I return and help who remained with a renaissance.
As far as Latinos being happier could it be due to differences in history and experiences of ancestors?
Great comment! I was talking to one of my friend's mother recently. I happened to mention that I was reading 'The Coddling of the American Mind' and gave a very brief precis, dwelling in particular on the differences between unsupervised play. She was very enthusiastic on the subject, noting that here in the UK there is whole movement of grans, nans and granddads intent upon getting their grandchildren out and away from computers and smartphones and getting them to play traditionally.
Even schools seem to be beginning to recognise that child safety culture had gone too far. I recently watched a short local news segment about how many schools were ordering safer building materials for their playgrounds with a view to letting the children play with them. No saws, of course- but with the school featured, it was clear the boys had rigged a plank as a makeshift catapult and were intent upon seeing how high they could launch things (and smaller kids, no doubt) into the air, by jumping on one end.
Jonathan Haidt extols the virtues of the free range play movement. The age at which kids are given autonomy to supervise themselves has been steadily rising and it's apparently not a developmentally healthy trend.
I’d emphasize religion. (Yes, I know many left wingers who are religious, but on average conservatives are more religious.) It’s not a panacea, but having a sense of meaning and purpose to life is a huge factor in happiness. Not that religious people never have existential dread, but I know I’d have a much harder time with suffering and life if I were a materialist atheist.
I agree. My faith isn't of the demonstrative sort- I only tend to go to church on special occasions, but I still pray fairly frequently and it is definitely a source of comfort and meaning.
Man, another good one, and personally speaking, I resonate strongly with this one. And you have officially convinced me that I need to get a dog.
They are a huge positive influence in life. Having buried several, the absence quickly becomes unbearable.
As I read your essay about city mice versus country mice, and could not stop the broad smile that was creeping onto my face.
Seems as though you are one of the many people who choose to live in smaller communities, where a skilled carpenter can be as highly regarded as the local doctor or lawyer.
I will soon be in my eight decade, and thus am in a lovely period of reflection on a life so thoroughly enjoyed while living in villages with perhaps 600 residents or on the far outskirts of urban areas.
Smiling at people and saying hello is a most a most healthy way to live one's life.
I look forward to reading more of your missives, Geary.